Dancing with Strangers

I am excited, energized and exhausted.

I just got back to my hotel after 3 hours of dancing at Gigi's in Detroit. It wasn't something I'd expected to do, but I promised myself this Halloween wasn't going to go by without me taking my alter ego out in public.

As it turned out, the schedule at home kept me busy right up until today - the day after Halloween. But, I knew there would be at least a few people still in costume at Gigi's (I was right), so I figured "what the heck?".

I brought two options, I figured I would drive by and see if folks were in costume or not, then go back to the hotel and change.

The first was a sort-of "Seven of Nine" outfit, complete with silver face paint and a black Fedora for flair.

The other was somewhat more traditional: black pantyhose, a high-collar top, sheer skirt and corset.

I drove by at around 11:30p and asked the parking attendant if people were showing up in costume. He said no, so I went back to the hotel and changed into the black skirt outfit. I fussed over the makeup for nearly half an hour, flashing glimpses of it to three different CDs on one of the cam sites. Finally, I was ready to go. I wasn't passable and never will be, but I gave it a pretty good try.

The drive was an education in itself. I sped up and slowed down to avoid driving next to any cars for fear of someone looking over at me.  Red lights were excruciating, inching forward to keep out of the line of sight of the surrounding cars. Luckily, traffic was light and I only had someone beside me twice.

At Gigi's, I did my best to appear casual. The place makes it easy. This is the friendliest bunch of people I have been around in a long time. I met up with Matt, who I know from one of the cam sites. He's friendly and easygoing and it was nice to have someone there that I knew.

Over the next 3 hours, I danced with one guy and three different CDs. It was quite amazing. There was lots of slow moving and grinding and even a little bottom-touching but mostly I enjoyed dancing. It was another step in my education. I was there for a little over three hours and I didn't get a hard-on all night. I think that drove home to me exactly how much I do consider this a performance.

Not that it wasn't sexual at all. It was. Quiet. I loved dancing with the girls, I loved that the guy was stiff and enjoyed the lap dance I gave him, but I really found that what I loved most was the dancing itself. The opportunity to be sexy, to move and be uninhibited, to enjoy the fact that I am incarnate in a body and alive and breathing and healthy.

Now I know why dance is so powerful. Why it scares some people. Why it has survived as a force through all of human history. It's one of the few places where everything comes together - mind, body, spirit, inside and outside, me and other, etc.

I'm worried right not, as I turn in for sleep, that I am going to want to go out and do this every weekend. That would be very, very hard to do. But it would be a lot of fun!





Dancing With Strangers

More About Getting Paid

I am now on a few pay websites. The  experience has been up and down. Some nights, I can be online for 4 or 5 hours and not make a single penny. Other nights, I have to turn down work. I have no real sense of what is making the difference and it's frustrating me.

I have tried different outfits, different makeup, and different approaches. My usual approach is to set the cam across the room and offer a full body shot. My legs are my only really strong asset, so I try to feature those. But, I've noticed many of the cam models focus on head shots, so I tried that too. Not the best for me, I don't think, my nose is much too big for me to ever be sexy. But, I do think I like the closeup shot anyway. It is a different dynamic for a guy coming in. Also - and this is huge - I have had the experience over and over of a guy coming into the channel and asking "can I see your face", then clicking out. It's humiliating and I don't like it. So now, more often than not, I just say "no" and see where it goes.

Another thing about this is that there is no continuity. About half of the sites do not have any email or messaging mechanism, so it's very much like going fishing. I sign on and the guys come and go, peeking into the channel then moving on (most of the time) or starting chats but not wanting to go all the way.

Maybe there is a proliferation of free providers. Maybe the CD community is just not one that is interested in pay-for-play. Maybe it's me. I don't know, but I still enjoy it enough to keep doing it.!

New Stockings, New Shoes

A couple of weeks ago, I went shopping at the thrift store. It's turned out that's been a very good place to find elastic top, thigh-high stockings. I tried these with the new stripper shoes that came in the mail. I like the look...

The Webcam World - Get Paid or Not?

 

As I mentioned a while ago, I've been learning about the world of camming and PSOs. I've experimented with several different haircuts and wig colors as well as a dozen different outfits. I think I've found a look that "works" for me, though of course that's always debatable, isn't it?

After a few weeks, I went ahead and registered to get paid "tips". It led to some interesting discussions, which I'll talk about later, but I figured "why not? I'm here anyway and want to learn."

The first thing I learned is that I think I picked the wrong site. The site I'm on is 95% guys who want everything for free. I realize I'm not in a high-demand category, but I see the same thing in the other channels as well.

The second thing is that it led to some serious discussion with online friends about "why do you want to get paid for this anyway? Aren't you just doing it for fun?"

The answer to that is "yes and no". I became interested in the "working for tips" part of it as a lark but found that I really got into it once I'd registered. I had to learn to be aggressive and say "how about some tokens?" I had to decide how I was going to treat the "regulars" who'd been there since the beginning but had not intention of throwing any money into the kitty.

But, again, why get paid at all? I go back and forth between finding it annoying that guys think they can tell me to do things ("show legs" "show feet" "show ass") for free and thinking, well I'm really here as an exhibitionist, not a "for hire" showgirl.

Some of the guys are downright rude. They feel entitled to whatever they want and make no bones about giving commands. It's eye-opening. Maybe we should require every guy to spend a little time doing this so they can see what's out there.

There are also a lot of really nice guys too - I don't want to overstate things. AND most of them will say "please" when I remind them to be polite.

So, "get paid or not?" I think the problem with coming at it this way is that it's easy to get focused on that. I do think you have to end up making a decision: am I doing this because I enjoy being looked at or am I doing it for the tips? I'm not sure how some of the people I talk to say they can do both. I think it divides my energy too much. Maybe I'm just too new?

So, for now, the answer to "get paid or not?" is "sure".

But, there are always going to be times when I go online just for me - I put it in the caption for the site: "tip if you like, but I'm just here to have fun."