First Public Appearance

Well, I decided to bite the bullet and take myself out in public. I chose the safest thing I could find: a Halloween party dedicated to the strange and bizarre: Hellbent IV at the Russell Industial Center in Detroit.

I rented a hotel room near the place and tried on dozens of different outfits, trying to find the right combination of sexy, risqué, and something I would actually wear out in public. It wasn't easy. I had help from some friends who were online. I set up a cam and asked them for suggestions. I ended up with this outfit:

Underneath, the outfit felt sexy. On the outside, it seemed pretty safe.

I drove to the site, put on my too-tight black boots (ouch!) and bravely walked into the place. About half a dozen people made the same trip in the freight elevator to the 3rd (?) floor. One very sexy girl in a tiger sort of outfit with her boyfriend, others in costumes of various complexity. I felt completely exposed and out of place. But that was fun.

The music was body-shaking loud, more of less heavy-metal, but it was fun. There was a bar so I had a glass of white wine, then another. A lot of the people seemed to know each other already, which made sense to me. There is no doubt a crowd who goes to "things like this". It was fun watching them have fun. The sexual content - while visible - seemed low key and relaxed. It reminded me of last year's "Dirty Show". It felt like a bunch of artists getting together to listen to some music and have some fun. What did I expect? I'm no sure.

It was an interesting night for me. I was pretty much ignored, which made me really ask myself "why am I here?" I knew I was stuck between "I want to be noticed" and "I wish I was invisible". So, I did the only practical thing.

I said "to hell with it" and just started dancing.

I found a corner where there was very little traffic. I closed my eyes and just let the music take over. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. I just relaxed into it, started moving my feet, my hips, my arms. I got stupid. I twirled and took my sweater off then on then off again, danced slow, danced fast, laughed and just went crazy.

I didn't stay more than an hour or so. On the way out, I had to stop and use the bathroom. I froze. Which one do I use??? I laughed and realized that probably nobody but me cared. I went into the guy's bathroom, took a quick leak, and headed back to my car with a head full of memories and very, very sore feet.